Mask or Menance IC Contact Post

[failureisntachoice]

[ An automated voice speaks because someone hasn't bothered to set up a proper voicemail. The only part in her voice is her name. ] You have reached Agent Texas. Leave a message at the tone.

Comments

Voice

[buildsfriends]

TEX HELP
AHH GAD PLEASE HELP ME

Voice

[failureisntachoice]

What's going on, Caboose?

Re: Voice

[buildsfriends]

I-I...I need help picking a ring for Church. I don't want him to not like it because he loves me so much he would just pretend to like it anyway! Tex! You gotta help me!

[failureisntachoice]

Wait, which Church are you buying a ring for?

[buildsfriends]

-ohhhh. You're right Tex, I should get one for each of them. Well now I definitely need your help.

[failureisntachoice]

[ Well, if he's going to do it anyway... ]

How much money do you have to spend? [ She's guessing pocket change. ]

--> video

[buildsfriends]

Not a lot. The money here is still paper, which is weird.

[Caboose flicks on his camera to show Tex an envelope of hundred dollar bills. A LOT of them. Caboose makes a lot more than he spends, apparently. Also he's always eating Wash's food. Between Caboose and Tucker, Wash is broke as hell.]

There's only enough to fill up this envelope so...probably not a lot.

back to voice

[failureisntachoice]

[ . . .That is a lot more money than she expected. How has Caboose not blown it all on candy or something. ]

You know, maybe I should go ring shopping with you. To make sure you get the right ones.

[buildsfriends]

[candy is cheap and he makes fifty grand a year with all housing and utilities provided]

You'll go with me?! Aw gee Tex, that's really nice of you! You can have a ring too if you want one.

[failureisntachoice]

[ She is not about to underestimate Caboose's ability to blow a bunch of cash on random things. She can only assume he hasn't been down the "As seen on TV" aisle. ]

As long as you don't wander off and get exactly what I tell you to, sure. I'll come along.

[buildsfriends]

[just wait until the cable box gets installed at his house. no infomercial will pass by unnoticed]

Can I get one thing for me also? And something for Agent Washington? And Mabel and Ripley? And Agent Carolina?

[failureisntachoice]

[ Okay this shopping list is getting ridiculous already. ]

Caboose, I don't think you have enough money to get everyone you know rings.

[buildsfriends]

I don't want a ring! I want something else. I don't know what yet. And I probably won't get rings for them, since rings are just for best friends and people who wanna get married. I just want to get them regular presents.

[failureisntachoice]

I'm only escorting you to the jewelry store. You want to go to any other places, I'm going to have to charge you.

[buildsfriends]

Umm will I still have enough to get all the presents? [because like that makes sense, you have to pay tex to do almost anything]

[failureisntachoice]

How about I take whatever's left over. [ That is a long list of people and she doesn't think Caboose knows how to 'budget.' Gift prices are going to go all over the place. ]

[buildsfriends]

Oh, okay! Yeah, that sounds pretty fair. Thanks a lot, Tex!

Man, I am so excited! Techno Rave Church and 80s Rock Church are gonna love their rings SO MUCH!

[failureisntachoice]

Do I want to know why you're calling them that now?

[buildsfriends]

Oh yeah, uh, Small Church didn't like being called Small Church. Or not First Church. So I came up with some different names to make him happy.

[failureisntachoice]

And they like being called by crappy music genres? [ She's guessing no. ]

[buildsfriends]

Yep! That's pretty much Small Church's new favorite thing. [wrong incorrect that's the lesser of like eight evils]

[buildsfriends]

Oh hey Tex! Do you want a different name too? So if I'm talking about Mean Tex and then You Tex, you know which one I'm telling a story about?

[failureisntachoice]

Let's stick with calling me Tex and you can call the other one the mean one. I'll know who you mean.

[buildsfriends]

You got it, Less Mean Tex!

I'm ready to go to the store whenever!

[failureisntachoice]

...Just tell me where to pick you up and keep your money safe.