Mask or Menance IC Contact Post

[failureisntachoice]

[ An automated voice speaks because someone hasn't bothered to set up a proper voicemail. The only part in her voice is her name. ] You have reached Agent Texas. Leave a message at the tone.

Comments

[failureisntachoice]

[ Is that all he wants? ] You do realize we live in the same place, right? Before you ran off anyway.

[ A pause and then: ] It looks the same as before.

[bestever]

It's different!

[there's a long beat, before he continues, horrified:] Unless you just... Look like Tucker?

[failureisntachoice]

What part of 'it looks the same as before' would make you think I looked like Tucker? [ Seriously, Epsilon? ]

If you want to see me, you know where we live. Or are you suggesting somewhere else?

[failureisntachoice]

[ The longer she tries to corral Caboose in the direction of the cheaper stores, the more she wonders if this is even worth the effort. She really should have asked to count up his money before agreeing to this trip.

and now he's freaking out over a train. She lets out a long, suffering sigh as she follows him over to the latest distraction. ]

Caboose, you're here to buy shit for other people. Ask Wash for a goddamn train for Christmas. [ Because why spend that much money on a train for yourself when you can make Wash do it. ]

[buildsfriends]

[The threat of physical violence (or physical violence itself, such as head-cuffing or ear-pulling) gets Caboose back on track more often than not. He picks up something for everybody and all his gifts make sense to him, which is the important thing here.

He saves the rings for last- or rather, they save the rings for last, because Caboose has no idea what to get so his budget was probably going to influence all of it. Not that it particularly matters, because the second either Church gets a ring from Caboose they're probably going to a) scream at him b) black out from horror c) lie and say they like it with a long-suffering sigh before pawning it off somewhere for the cash.]

Hmmm, hmm hmm hmm...Tex, which ones should I get?

[failureisntachoice]

[ This was the big ticket item on his budget and she's not about to watch him blow the remainder of his cash on something she knows Church isn't going to want from the kid. The best part about the mall is that within eye-shot of the jewelry store, there's a candy store. And she knows just what kind of ring would be perfect for this situation. ]

You know what I always here them talk about? Wanting a snack that they can carry around like a ring. I think they have some over there.

[ She motions towards the brightly colored candy store. Surely it won't take much to get him to go over there... ]

[buildsfriends]

OH MY GOD CANDY JEWELRY [yeah no ushering required he's already in there

how did he get over there so fast]

THERE ARE BRACELETS AND NECKLACES

I AM GOING TO GET THEM A WHOLE CANDY SET- OH MY GOD TEX THERE ARE SHARKS, I CAN GET YOUR PRESENT HERE AFTER ALL

Voice; Dec 10

[missleadingquestions]

Hey. Hey, Tex? I have a question.

Voice;

[failureisntachoice]

What do you need?

[failureisntachoice]

[ W H E L P. The price of his ring purchases just went down significantly. Give her a minute to get there, she's in no rush to join him in the candy store. ]

You don't need to get me shark gummies. [ Seriously. Not that she could stop the candy train once it starts. Even she's not that strong. ]

Pick out some jewelry for them and wrap them up in some construction paper or whatever you have laying around the house to give them.

Voice;

[missleadingquestions]

This is probably a weird question, but what are people supposed to do on dates?

Voice;

[failureisntachoice]

Depends on the people, but usually have fun. Why, you got one coming up?

Re: Voice;

[missleadingquestions]

Well, yeah, but I've never been on one before? And that's what I thought dates were like, just-- hanging out, so. I dunno.

[Uuuuuuuuuuugh]

Voice;

[failureisntachoice]

Let's start simple. What do you like to do for fun?

Voice; you know what no 1/2

[missleadingquestions]

Eat.

Voice;

[missleadingquestions]

...You know, normal stuff. Watch wrestling, go to stores, walk around the city, arcades....

Voice;

[failureisntachoice]

[ Jesus Christ, Maya. ]

And you can't do any of that on a date?

Voice;

[missleadingquestions]

Well! He said hanging out and a date were different, so, you know!

[HUFF HUFF]

Voice;

[failureisntachoice]

Then he's an idiot. [ Tex would know, she is on a team full of them. ]

You know what the big difference is? You might hold hands and make dumb eyes at each other and see if you like each other more than friends. Otherwise, you should be having fun or there's no point in it.

Voice;

[missleadingquestions]

Well, yeah, he's an idiot.

[Duh, mom, he's a boy.]

I-- well! [UUUGH that sounds sappy and gross and like something Pearl would want to watch. It's embarrassing when it's about yourself. Maya decides to not address part of what Tex just said.] I dunno. What've you done on dates before?

Voice;

[failureisntachoice]

[ What have they done on dates before? Most recently was dinner, but before... ]

We've done the usual crap like movies and eating, but we've also done shooting range, paintball, lazer tag... You can find out how much of an ass he is when he's losing. [ Aka she's betting on you, girl. ]

Voice;

[missleadingquestions]

[...Okay, those all sound rad.]

Why weren't those, like, the first things you suggested? That sounds awesome!

[CHASING AROUND PEOPLE WITH FAKE GUNS... Not as cool as fake swords, but whatever.]

Voice;

[failureisntachoice]

Because I didn't think you'd need someone to tell you what to do for fun.

[ Tex is the fun police, not Maya. ]

backdated to power-swap kickoff

[fuckai]

[After, you know, picking up that some shit went down in Heropa...

Tex will be receiving the simple notification of 15 MISSED CALLS

And... zero... messages.

Look, Church hates leaving messages. One of the many things Blood Gulch taught him is that voicemail systems are absolute bullshit.

But, on the sixteenth call: ]

Tex. Where the hell are you?!

[failureisntachoice]

[ She's busy. And the fact that his calls have reached double digit makes this almost a game of chicken. Who is going to crack first before a real message gets sent.

She's still busy when she finally hears the alert. She had a feeling he'd crack first. Maya's dead, but at least her body is somewhere safe.

Whether he likes it or not, she's texting him back. And no, she didn't listen to his message. She hates listening to those damn things as much as he hates leaving them. ]

What?