failureisntachoice | Mask or Menance IC Contact Post

Mask or Menance IC Contact Post

[ An automated voice speaks because someone hasn't bothered to set up a proper voicemail. The only part in her voice is her name. ] You have reached Agent Texas. Leave a message at the tone.

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[You know, he's gone over how to do this probably a dozen times, now. Went through at least two dozen plans that involved chocolates, flowers, even a stuffed animal at one point.

But in the end, this is all that's coming out: ]

Hey, Tex, uh-- I need to get away from Tweedle-Me and Tweedle-douche. There's a restaurant in downtown Heropa, but they completely fucking misheard me and marked me down for two.

[Church that is legitimately the worst excuse ever]

So uh. Heropa. Six o'clock. [.....] Maybe wear something that's not your armor.

[Smooth, Church. Smooth.]

[ Is he asking her out? And that's how he's doing it? She's going to say yes, but she has to make him sweat first. It wouldn't be right otherwise. ]

Wouldn't want to disappoint that poor restaurant.

What happens if I already have plans tonight?

[Shut up he's the most romantic fucker here]

What? Oh. Yeah, the poor restaurant. They-- wait.

You have plans?! [Church please] Why do you have plans?

Because I don't sit around waiting for you to call me and make plans.

[ She'll let that hang there for a painful moment before continuing. ]

But lucky you, I'm free. How nice of a place are we talking? [ If she has to go out and buy nicer clothes she swears... ]

... Right. Right. Instead, you run off and do whatever you want.

[Church, no. The entire point of tonight is to try and forget about all the fucking bitterness that's been building up.]

Somewhere between looking like a fuckin' dressed up monkey and like you're about to kill someone.

So, normal clothes but nice enough to require you to call first.

[ Great. Maybe she has something like that in her closet. She's about to find out. ]

You're picking me up right? [ Because transportation costs are on you, buddy. ]

Uh-- yeah, sure. We'll go with that. [He has no clue, he just picked the first restaurant that didn't sound pretentious.]

Why am I picking you up? [And more importantly, what makes her think he has a car?]

[ Because she can't make anything easy for him. Ever. ]

You're the one that wants me there. I'll even help and get to Heropa first.

[GOD why does he like this bitch so much, again?]

Wh- I don't- That- [Church you're literally asking her out] Fine. I'll meet you at the fuckin' Porter.

Good. I'll be there early so we're not late.

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